I'M BACK!!!!

Hi Fans! We're Back! :)

Just kidding. Sorry about the lapse. I hate getting behind, because it takes so long to catch up. I just ran across these pictures and was AMAZED at the size of that twin belly! And people told me I was small?! People lie. :)

THIS TIME LAST YEAR:

36 weeks

37 weeks---2 days before they came

Is it just me or is there a major difference in the two pictures? I am glad I had them when I did!! Imagine if another 1 or 2 weeks went by? I'd have delivered 8 pounders!

Anyway, a friend of mine emailed me and asked how I have survived and thrived being a mom of 3 kids so young. She is soon having her second child and is nervous for the big jump. When I got this email, I laughed out loud! Not at her at all, but at her compliments of me and the mother I am. She obviously lives far away. :)

1) My motto: Lower your expectations and you will never be disappointed.
Having said this, I do not mean to not get anything done or make any plans, just be realistic and ready to have plans change at the drop of a hat! Like the Sunday I was doing great getting all the kids in the car totally going to be 15 mins early for church, loading my darling matchy-matchy twins in the car seats when I realize something squished under my fingers as I placed Kate in her seat...Eew. It was one of those Where do I Even start taking these clothes off? Diapers. DISGUSTING!!! Bath time, new non-matching dress (the nerve!), and we were 15 minutes LATE for church. Sometimes that's just how it goes. Some days the floor doesn't get vacuumed. Sometimes the kids eat macaroni and cheese...and so do you. Some nights the girls just have to wear leftover boy pjs because that laundry is just not going to be done. Sometimes the laundry sits in the baskets...for days. Some days you just don't shower or wash your hair. That is just how it goes! Don't put tons of pressure on yourself. Seriously, my goal for the past year has been to keep us all alive, happy, and healthy. We are all alive. On next Wednesday I can say I DID IT!!! Just plan and hope for the best and be happy and surprised when things work out! This makes it easy to impress your husband when you DO shower or DO clean. They'll call you superwoman because you managed to take care of kids AND get something else done. :)


2) Determine your Priorities
This goes along with the first point. Choose now what you want your priorities to be and make it work. I wish I would have made spiritual things a higher priority. That is one change I would have made over the last year. I have NEVER been this inconsistent with reading my scriptures and with morning prayers. I know that when I do it, I feel much better and ready for the day. Really. Even if it is a 2 verse devotional and a 40 second prayer in the morning that may continue throughout the day, just do it. Something is better than nothing. Another important thing is to SIMPLIFY!!! Realize you can't do it all, but do what you can. And remember, every one's "what I can" is different. Even day to day, your "can" will be different.

3) Have an outlet

Get together for play dates, talk to other moms on the phone, get a group of girls together and have occasional girl nights, join a book club, go to the gym, be crafty, GO ON DATES! : Just do something other than cleaning, diapering, and feeding a few hours a week. You'll be recharged. I am always amazed when I get home from the temple or from being out shopping or just any time I have been away for a couple hours and I get home and my kids are SO happy to see me (or are sleeping and I didn't have to do it!). I just feel recharged and ready to Mom again. This is extremely important.


4) Immerse yourself in Motherhood.
This is literally what you were born to do. Do it well. Learn to love it. Have a positive attitude about your incredible role and responsibility as a mother and it will love you back. You are helping build a person, a life, and not just one life, but a life that will affect MANY other lives. Plus, these physically hard tiny kid years really do not last that long at all. My nieces and nephews have grown up SO FAST! My first one will be going to Church dances soon, dancing with girls! I distinctly remember the day he was born. Treasure every minute. Even the stressful crazy ones...Take a few minutes to think about and record what you picture your children to be like in 30 years, what qualities you want them to have. Then tailor your mothering to that picture. Paint it. Have fun.

5)Laugh before you cry...but cry when you really want to. Sometimes it just gets it out of your system and feels good. And remember, they will grow up. They will get older. This statement will get you through the rough times and keep this time in perspective. It's not going to be around forever. That is a happy and a sad thing.


6)Listen to advice, and adjust accordingly.

-Don't EVER let other moms (advertently or inadvertently) make you feel guilty for not having your baby on a schedule, or having your baby on too tight of a schedule. For holding your baby too much, rocking her to sleep, letting her cry...and so on. Never compare yourself. Take any advice (including mine!) with a grain of salt and decide what YOU want to do. This is YOUR baby and YOUR job. Yeah, you'll need help because you've never done this before, but just remember you are a practicing mom, like a Doctor who practices medicine. So accept advice and learn from others, but do your research, your own little experiments, and learn from them too. It's a process (a long, sometimes mundane, fun, discouraging, happy, tedious, joyful, never ending process). Give yourself a break. You are most likely doing a FANTASTIC job. Women are just like that. We do good things.


7) Write things down...funny things your kids say, things that work, things that don't, blessings when you are discouraged, inspiration that comes. Great days, hard days...blogs and journals are good for this. I am going to start a journal for each of my kids. About who they are, how they act, what makes them special. Then when they are old enough they can write in the journal and keep it forever. Good Christmas gift! Better get out there and get them.


8) Communicate your needs
-This is the last and probably most important one. Talk to your spouse, your partner in crime. You guys are a team and need to help each other. Yes, he is the provider and you are the primary nurturer, but you are there for each other, for support and help and relief. :) You got into this together, so enjoy it together too. Sometimes he can't do anything about what you are telling him, but he just needs to listen. Being a mom is the most demanding job on earth (I've decided). You are on call 24/7/365 for eternity! That's a long time, and a lot of hours! Justin is wonderful at just listening or holding me or letting me cry when I need to. There is not just a lot of physical investment in motherhood, but A LOT of emotional investment. Especially for women. Me at least. I have learned to SPEAK UP! Ask when you need a favor, an errand run, time away. They usually just want to make their women happy. Justin's motto: "Happy Wife, Happy Life." That's why we live in Canada. HA!!!!


One of the best things is that while you are in the beginning of your "practice" your kid won't remember anything you think you did "wrong." You get about a 5 year buffer zone to begin to polish the rough edges of your parenting. And children are so fun and forgiving. That's what I am banking on.

There is my 2 cents. But heck, I only have 2 1/2 years of mothering under my belt. Anyone else have anything to add/take away!?

Stay tuned (this weekend hopefully) for updates. I want to get it all updated before the girls turn ONE ON WEDNESDAY!!!!